What makes us afraid of loving and binding us to another person when we want one?
In my work with women and their ability for self-love, there is a pattern that shows up again and again when they fear to go close to love.
Being afraid of love can be a big part of the reason why there is not enough life quality in your life.
Below, I have listed some reasons why you might fear committing and trusting love.
- The fear of losing yourself in favor of a partner.
When you find a man, and begin to get feelings for him, then you do things your partner likes. Over time you risk losing yourself if it is usually not your nature to do or say these things. If you have previously tried to lose yourself in favor of not losing another, you are cautious and afraid of making the same mistake. If you become over-cautious, love becomes dangerous to you.
- Fear of rejection
When love flows through the body, there are many emotions in play. There will always be some form of fear at all stages of a relationship. This excitement can be healthy if it is properly managed, but if you become too cautious and lay too much weight to, it can be of great importance to your ability to open yourself up.
- You are afraid that it will not go
You fear to experience the other side of the coin. This especially feeling occurs if you have previously been let down – so the risk of failing in your love life is like the chances when flipping a coin.
- New relationships affect the elderly
Your priorities change as time goes on. Those who previously were number one have now moved to 2nd place in your order of priority, because your 1st priority is now your girl- or boyfriend. Perhaps you are one of those who have had a bad experience of isolating yourself with a girlfriend, because you discovered friends were gone when the relationship was gone. This experience can make you cautious and develop to a fear of allowing yourself to disappear deeply into love again.
- Love does not come alone
Love rarely comes alone. Demanding tasks with, in-laws, inclusiveness, time and presence with your partner and a conscious investment in love, follows. It feels great to spend time with your loved ones, but it automatically takes time from your other plans like jobs, goals, etc. This solitaire can keep you from investing deeply in the life of your love.
But what to do then?
The cure to overcome fear of love is to know that love does not hurt, but that it can hurt when it ends.
You can’t love without also having a risk of losing. That calculation is banal and logical. But it must never letting you from daring.
To love is to dare. Dare yourself and dare life.
In your wounds after having loved, there is learning and wisdom.
Love does not require courage, but the grief it can cause does.
If you dare to take it with you – there’s nothing that can hurt you.