Manipulation is a Latin word meaning: “by hand”. From its origin it referred to the skill of handling objects by hand.
Today, the definition has another meaning. Manipulation means that consciously someone is playing puppeteer towards you and omit to tell you about or hide the true intentions.
A true manipulator is so skilled at manipulating that you cannot directly see or discover that you are being intimidated.
In the following, I have gathered some points that you should be aware of if you have the feeling you are being manipulated with.
Read along and become wiser on what manipulation looks like:
Favorite weapon number 1: To blame
Prosecution, comparison and bribery.
If he or she is able to make you feel guilty, then he/she has the power over you: “After all I have done, so …”
Some start a quarrel and blame you for something you can’t do for. You feel guilty – the person gets the power.
Some parents routinely manipulate bribery: “If you eat your food then you can have an ice cream afterwards”
Doubt and uncertainty number 2:
When you enter a state or condition where you feel furious, intimidated, or guilty and ashamed, you are more able to surrender your power to another. Shame instantly creates doubts and uncertainties.
The manipulation can be clever – and braided it into a compliment: “I’m surprised you, of all people, would condescend to this”.
Blackmail is weapon number 3:
A classic method is to scare people with threats, anger or accusations. Extortion can scare you so you sacrifice your needs and desires for the benefit of others.
The same applies for anger. We will go far for not make others angry.
The hidden aggression – is the 4th weapon
First, you are flattered with charm and help. Afterwards, criticism and self-pity follows over how much they have done for you, and therefore you now have to meet a need. The manipulation lies in the passive part, as they are sweet and helpful – which are subsequently used aggressively.
Manipulation is used to achieve one’s own wishes and satisfy one’s own needs.
How to handle someone who manipulates:
First, you need to know who you are dealing with.
Build your own self-esteem.
Learn to set limits.
Review their favorite weapons, recognize their tactics and bypass.
Move yourself mentally.
Lean on safe and empathetic people.
If you are forced to be close to a manipulative person, then you are also forced to make a strategy of not going to be manipulated, now you have reviewed their weapons.
You don’t have to be manipulative yourself, but with manipulative people you must have a strategy.